Once a life..Now a block..

I had been a life with my own insight and sensation.

But your scornful attitude towards it has raised the feeling of rage and fury,which is undoubtedly dominated by the desire of keeping you happy however,and so unfortunately is the sole reason of putting me in suspicion  about my existence..

I've forfeited myself as a life,and now it seems as if I am the big block out of order in Block Man's Game.

The circumstances around me assure me that I am the block out of order, for you have your own perception and standards fixed to be accomplished by me.Your expectations accompanied by my failures of meeting them are all pushing me through various paths in pursuit of the fixed place for me.My love for you has superseded the inertia of my mature individuality now and I willingly agree to bring about the changes for good.
But the conditions I have faced haven't shown any sign of liberty for me to fix in the place you want..the way I like..There were times when I was being analysed for my every act and my heart had been shouting out loud to you to please let me be my way!!Every heart beat was an urge to live !!

The little heart inside me kept shouting but you couldn't hear it then.
The changes I tried to adopt with my due love and flexibility mystified my self initially.And the confusions of going right or wrong,here or there..satisfying you or giving you my best..giving you my ultimate passion or potraying a scene of being perfect.
Shall I give all my honest expressions or be wicked enough to keep you all attracted ??
When I live my way..a few are happy..and when you all rule it..you all are..
And all the wildest thoughts have turned me numb..and I am a block..

Once a life,is now a block, all at your disposal now.The moment you'd fix me in the right place you've set for me all your curiosity and fatigue would come to an end.And I will disappear!

But what is happening to my identity while you are trying to fix me at the right place is what you are unaware of.The rite place is fixed per you and I am supposed to get in.But the choice and path way of bringing out change in me,and the attitude you have adopted is bruising my body.I am a movable block,I am on my way to fix in the the place that is seemingly meant for me..but all the way I am going through..has damaged my edges,disgraced my surface and now I am a withered soul.
The changes you devise for and push me through are scandalising my personality as the living friction inside me hasn't yet fallen against the force.
Every new move is strained and comes up with new dimensions for me and shows up that I am disoriented,baffled  within myself and lost,probably in a state fortitude.
I've surrendered myself to your insight..for that I trust ..you will take me to the place perfect for me..

But I am sure I wont disappear as the block...
I'll surely be vanished before then..